3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
