Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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