WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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