His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are two peas in an std pod
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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