4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
