I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
