Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize