I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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