also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
