She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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