People in love make me want to vomit
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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