She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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