In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize