Dual....:-)
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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