Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
