i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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