At least make sure they are 18
Why
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
