Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
