Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
