We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize