Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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