I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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