Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize