remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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