she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
