Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
