Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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