Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
