he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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