can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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