i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize