He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
