I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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