tell your sister to shave her snatch
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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