No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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