nut hugger
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
