time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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