Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
