I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize