the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
