weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
