No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just gift wrapped bread.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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