oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.