this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
