Swine flu. Run for my life!
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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