Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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