Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I would fuck him just for his dog
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
