if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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