I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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