dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
