well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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