Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
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