Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
