The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
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I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
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Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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